TNA Impact #1
Match Background: This match is for the TNA Television title.
The Match: Spear by Devon. High Angle DDT by Devon just SPIKES Crimson down! Spear! Crimson is down! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Crimson charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. There's a two count on the pin. Crimson ducks a wild right hand. Devon charges into the corner, but EATS BOOT and staggers backward. Big piledriver on Devon. Devon flips out of a Crimson bodyslam attempt. Spear by Devon. Devon moves in for the kill. Standing Spinebuster!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Devon climbs each turnbuckle in turn, working the crowd as he celebrates his victory
My Opinion: All you deserve for this is *. That DOESN'T mean that you're a deputy or a cop or whatever.
Overall Ratings:68%
Crowds Reaction:70%
Match Quality 64%
Daniels and Kazarian are on the way to the ring, when out from the crowd come the returning Magnus and Samoa Joe, who assault them. The beating goes all the way up the aisle and into the ring, where Magnus and Samoa Joe end up laying both Daniels and Kazarian out on the mat.
Joey Ryan is backstage. He was laying a verbal Smackdown on Devon.
Overall Ratings:63%
Daniels and Kazarian vs Magnus and Samoa Joe.
Match Background: This will be a hardcore bout. Daniels and Kazarian and Magnus and Samoa Joe have been feuding recently. Neither team holds an in-ring victory since the feud started. This match is for the TNA World Tag Team titles.
The Match: Christopher Daniels sets up a chair, then bounces off it to hit a flying avalanche into the corner. VERY Sabu-like. Second rope flying axe handle, Samoa Joe goes down. One day, Kazarian might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Face slam on the table by Daniels. Kazarian misses a clothesline. BIG clothesline on Daniels. Samoa Joe scoops up Daniels. Magnus bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Big piledriver on Kazarian. Back suplex through a table. Daniels powers out of a headlock. Magnus takes a NICE hurrancarana from Kazarian. Daniels crushes Samoa Joe with a huge legdrop. Christopher Daniels grapples with Samoa Joe, and positions himself so that the referee can't see...and hits a low blow! He rolls up the stunned Samoa Joe: 1....2....3!! What a cheap shot! The fight has started up again! Daniels and Kazarian attacks Magnus and Samoa Joe, and they brawl all around ringside, then into the crowd! They eventually disappear backstage, still fighting.
My Opinion: I'll give it a **1\2 rating, but that's because I didn't mark out once...but nothing was too bad.
Overall Ratings:76%
Crowd Reactions:76%
Match Quality:77%
Madison Rayne is in the ring. Out from the back comes Miss Tessmacher. She climbs in and they trade insults. As Madison turns around, Miss Tessmacher attacks, and floors her. Grabbing the hair, she proceeds to beat away on Madison Rayne, leaving her down and hurt on the canvas.
Overall Ratings:67%
Abyss vs Robbie E.
Match Background: None.
The Match: Abyss hits some punches. How generic. BAAACK Body drop by Robbie E gets a bit of a pop from the crowd. There's a two count on the pin. Robbie E avoids a Abyss avalanche by getting out of the damn way! Flying shoulder tackle by Robbie E sends Abyss CRASHING to the mat. Abyss takes a headbutt from Robbie E. Flying elbow from Robbie E connects. Abyss elbows Robbie E in the face to break a hammerlock. Robbie E walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Abyss moves in for the kill. Black Hole Slam! 1....2....3. Abyss remains in the ring, celebrating the victory.
My Opinion: *1\2 rating is all it gets from me.
Overall Ratings:70%
Crowd Reactions:71%
Match Quality:68%
James Storm vs AJ Styles.
Match Background: None.
The Match: AJ Styles walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Massive lariat! Stan Hansen would approve. Powerbomb on AJ Styles. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! James Storm with a spinning neckbreaker on AJ Styles. Hooks the leg for a two count. AJ Styles is able to duck a clothesline attempt and connect with a counter clothesline. THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. AJ Styles crushes Cowboy with a running senton. Cowboy ducks a wild right hand. Nice piledriver on AJ Styles. AJ Styles falls through the ropes after a hard shot from Cowboy. He seemed to hit his head on the apron on the way down. The referee reaches a ten count, and this one is over. James Storm goes into the crowd, where he celebrates his victory
My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man.
Overall Ratings:70%
Crowd Reactions:71%
Match Quality:71%
Bobby Roode is backstage. He talked trash about Jeff Hardy. Good build up.
Overall Ratings:90%
Bobby Roode vs Chris Sabin.
Match Background: None.
The Match: Bobby Roode connects with rights and lefts and Chris Sabin is down! Chris Sabin fights out of a grapple. Standing leg lariat by Chris Sabin on Roode. Chris Sabin misses a clothesline...and takes out the referee accidentally! Tiger suplex on Roode. No Misawa references from me, I swear. Oh, Bloody Hell! Pinfall attempt, but the ref is out and can't count to three! Roode blocks a kick from Chris Sabin. Bodyslam by Roode. Nice piledriver on Sabin. Covers for a quick two count. Spear! Sabin is down! Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! Sabin blocks a punch. Roode takes a NICE hurrancarana from Chris Sabin. Pin, but Roode is out just before the three count. Chris Sabin misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Chris Sabin gets knocked to the ground by Roode. Chris Sabin gets locked in the Arm Trap Crossface! Submission victory! Bobby Roode gives a murderous look toward Chris Sabin...and attacks! Sabin gets dropped to the canvas, then battered with a barrage of rights and lefts. Roode leaves the ring having left Sabin down and out.
My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4
Overall Ratings:75%
Crowd Reactions:78%
Match Quality:71%
Bully Ray is backstage. He was out there to tell Austin Aries that he was going to discombobulate him. Great, now I've got to look that word up. Time to sit back and watch.
Overall Ratings:90%
Kurt Angle vs Bully Ray vs Sting.
Match Background: This will be an elimination bout.
The Match: Kurt Angle connects with a HARD right hand, sending the opponent down to the mat again. Kurt Angle gets up and gives a Belly to belly suplex to Angle. Kurt Angle misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Bully Ray with a spinning neckbreaker on Angle. Bully Ray walks into a side slam. Think about how much talent it takes to side slam someone. Nash can do it. Pin, but Bully Ray is out just before the three count. Hard impact Russian Leg Sweep by Angle. According to some other reviewers around here, 'legsweep' is one word. Angle charges into the corner but EATS BOOT. Bully Ray scoops up Angle. Sting bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Bully Ray just KILLS Kurt Angle! Cover gets three for Bully Ray, Angle got pinned. Massive backbreaker on Sting and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Sting blocks a punch. Sting scores with a standing spinebuster. Hooks the leg for a two count. Bully Ray reverses a hip toss. Big piledriver on Sting. James Storm comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Sting turns around. James Storm spins Sting around. James Storm hits the Last Call! Cowboy leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three for Bully Ray, Sting got pinned.
My Opinion: I really shouldn't drink when I'm reviewing matches. Especially with Scotsman, I can't drink nearly as much, so I try too hard. It was either ** or ****, but I guess I'll have to compromise and say ***.
Overall Ratings:83%
Crowd Reactions:85%
Match Quality:80%
Tot. Overall Ratings:75%