*Official Thread* | Kayfabe News

[Richie]

http://www.kayfabenews.com/top-ten-fail ... e-network/

Top Ten Failed Show Ideas for the WWE Network

10. Law and Order: Otunga:




9. Tanning with Sheamus:




8. Buffy the Gangrel Slayer:




7. Yoga by Great Khali:




6. CSI: Cobb County, GA:




5. Chuck & Billy’s FABULOUS Home Makeovers:




4. Manly Screaming with Brock Lesnar:




3. Simon Dean’s “Simon System” infomercial:




2. The Mike Adamle Hour:




1. XFL:

[JoNHCeNa2000]

kuelle di wade barret e di hunico mi sembrano balle belle e buone............................

[team bring it]

kuelle di wade barret e di hunico mi sembrano balle belle e buone............................

ke dici?kueste news sono tutte vere

[Richie]

ke dici?kueste news sono tutte vere

Il genio è già stato bannato purtroppo!

[DenisPirola]

SCANDALOSO : Gli WWE Studios snobbati ancora una volta dall' Academy.
Niente Oscar per Miz, Big Show e Wade Barret

WWE Studios snubbed by Oscars yet again
March 3, 2014


For the twelfth consecutive year since its inception, World Wrestling Entertainment’s movie-making division, WWE Studios, failed to get the slightest acknowledgement at the Academy Awards.

Sunday’s glitzy broadcast of the 86th annual Oscars featured nary a mention of WWE Studios’ latest offerings, leading some industry experts to speculate that Hollywood’s elite has a bias against straight-to-video dreck starring professional wrestlers.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences completely overlooked the sequel to 12 Rounds, in which a wooden Randy Orton reprises the role originally played by a hamfisted John Cena.

Nowhere to be seen on the Oscars’ red carpet were Brodus Clay, co-star or the critically ignored No One Lives, or lawyer-turned-wrestler David Otunga, who had an inconsequential role in The Call, which nobody saw.

Christmas Bounty starring The Miz also failed to get an Oscar nod, despite being described as the “best movie of all time” by a seven-year-old boy with cognitive impairments.

With nearly three-dozen films released since WWE Studios’ 2002 launch, pure chance alone should dictate that at least one of the films in the company’s oeuvre would generate some critical acclaim.

The company reportedly has high hopes that Scooby Doo WrestleMania Mystery will sweep the 2015 Oscars.

http://www.kayfabenews.com/wwe-studios- ... scars-yet/

[DenisPirola]

Zack Ryder to win WrestleMania battle royal, dreams Zack Ryder
March 31, 2014

Ryder battle royal 300x168 Zack Ryder to win WrestleMania battle royal, dreams Zack Ryder
An image from deep within Zack Ryder’s subconscious brain.

Professional wrestler Zack Ryder is currently booked to win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at WWE WrestleMania, according to a recent dream of Ryder’s.

Ryder, a perpetual underdog and occasional darling of the so-called Internet Wrestling Community, is currently scheduled to outlast 29 other competitors by finally hurling The Big Show over the top rope, according to the nighttime fantasy of Ryder’s unconscious mind.

In the dream, Ryder enters the Superdome in New Orleans to a deafening ovation, pryotechnics exploding overhead, while fellow wrestlers tremble in fear at the mere sight of him.

Ryder then fights his way though a gauntlet of opponents, narrowly escaping elimination on several occasions and foisting one foe after another over the top rope.

In the fantasy, Ryder draws upon his past success in battle royal matches — which, to be fair, is not too shabby — to be the last man standing.

Although the dream seemed realistic and plausible to Ryder as it was unfolding, certain details — like the presence of Andre the Giant himself in the match, and Gorilla Monsoon on commentary — did strike Ryder’s subconscious mind as a tad strange.

http://www.kayfabenews.com/zack-ryder-w ... ack-ryder/

[DenisPirola]

http://www.kayfabenews.com/cena-sneezes ... ut-atchoo/

Cena sneezes, kicks out atchoo

[DenisPirola]

KayFabe News ricorda Owen Hart alla sua maniera : http://www.kayfabenews.com/owen-hart-pu ... ib-on-god/

[Sco]

Andatevi a leggere quella di taker.
Sto ancora ridendo haha

[Richie]

Undertaker Sent Back To Developmental

After a lackluster performance at last month’s WrestleMania event, professional wrestler The Undertaker has been sent back to WWE’s “developmental” league to polish his in-ring skills.

He will train daily at WWE’s so-called Performance Center in Orlando, Florida, and compete as part of the roster of rookies on NXT, a feeder league for the main WWE roster.

It is believed that he will be stripped of the ominous “Undertaker” gimmick and repackaged as Cal Markaway, street-tough thug with a mysterious past.

“The kid shows potential,” said Terry Taylor, a trainer at the Performance Center, “but he’s rough around the edges. Hopefully he’ll be ready for the spotlight soon.”

Cal Markaway is expected to make his in-ring NXT debut next week as part of a dance-off against Summer Rae.

[Ivas]

http://www.kayfabenews.com/buzzards-kee ... ollowed-2/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;


il finale

[Richie]

DDP cures Scott Hall of addiction to toothpicks

Former professional wrestler Diamond Dallas Page has enabled another radical transformation in one of his colleagues by curing Scott Hall of his chronic addiction to toothpicks.

Through a strict regimen of yoga, dieting and motivational speech, DDP has convinced the former Razor Ramon to stop chewing on toothpicks in the corner of his mouth.

Even more remarkable, the three-month rehabilitation program at Page’s house in suburban Atlanta has enabled Hall to quit, cold turkey, flicking toothpicks at people and TV cameras.

“I feel like a new man,” Hall tweeted.

“I haven’t flicked a toothpick in 92 days and counting. Say hello to the good guy.”

This is the latest in a series of remarkable successes for Page, who has used his unique yoga program to bring several down-on-their-luck colleagues back from the brink of self-destruction.

Last year, for example, Page managed to cure Jake “The Snake” Roberts of his addiction to cryptic aphorisms.

“Now I speak in a straightforward, easy-to-understand manner,” Roberts said matter-of-factly. “I am pleased.”

[Richie]

kayfabenews.com

Entire WWE roster expected to quit by Friday

Following the sudden and acrimonious resignations of Brie Bella and Batista from World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), experts believe the quitting trend will completely decimate the company’s roster by week’s end.

WWE has officially entered what pundits are calling the “Quitting Era” — following on the heels of the edgy “Attitude Era” and family friendly “PG-Era” — which will be characterized by a mass exodus from the company.

The trend apparently began when petulant superstar CM Punk suddenly walked out of WWE to take what the company euphemistically described as a “sabbatical.”

The streak-ending swan song of the Undertaker at WrestleMania 30 has led many to speculate that he too is calling it quits, further strengthening the quitting movement.

A statistical analysis of the frequency of recent resignations reveals that, if current trends continue, WWE’s entire roster of wrestlers, broadcasters, referees and road crew members will have quit by the end of June.

Except JTG, of course. JTG will still be there.

[Richie]

“Adapt or perish,” says guy in rehashed old gimmick

Triple-H preaches the mantra “adapt or perish,” despite barely having changed at all in more than a decade.

The key to survival in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) is to “adapt or perish,” according to the leader of a resurrected faction with a hackneyed gimmick dating back to 2003.

Triple-H, who has made the exact same water-spewing ring entrance roughly 9,500 times during his two-decade WWE tenure, is the figurehead of the rebooted faction Evolution.

The irony, it seems, is entirely lost on him.

“It’s survival of the fittest, and only those who thrive will survive,” said the 44-year-old part-time wrestler with a history of debilitating quadriceps injuries.

“It’s the law of the jungle,” added the multimillionaire who spends most of his weekdays in a corporate boardroom or by poolside at his Connecticut mansion.

Until recently, Triple-H was accompanied in Evolution by Batista, but a strange mutation led to “The Animal” exhibiting bright blue plumage, which was not conducive to his long-term survival.

The recent addition of Seth Rollins to Evolution was seen by some as evidence of adaptation, but most observers insist it is more likely a a rare piece of evidence in favor of intelligent design.

[Richie]

Hopeful Zack Ryder purchases SWAT team costume

Professional wrestler Zack Ryder, a plucky underdog always optimistically clamouring for a piece of the spotlight, purchased a SWAT team costume today in the vain hope that he might replace Seth Rollins in The Shield.

Rollins’ recent mutiny left a gaping hole in the justice-seeking faction, and Ryder is among many World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) superstars hoping to fill the vacant spot.

Ryder has learned how to scowl menacingly has and clad himself in the all-black tactical outfit preferred by remaining Shield members Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns.

“Woo woo woo, you know I want justice,” Ryder said aloud while gazing at his reinvented self in a mirror.

Ryder’s optimism, albeit adorable, is probably misguided given that he was not among the superstars listed on a recent WWE.com rundown of potential successors to Rollins in the Shield. He was, however, ranked in the number-one spot on a list of “Superstars Most Likely to be Found in Catering.”

Although wrestling pundits are uncertain who will replace Rollins in The Shield, they all agree that a replacement must be found immediately.

“The Shield needs a third member,” said wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer. “I mean, who has ever heard of a two-man tag team?!”